My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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