I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Operation Purity has been aborted
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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