That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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