She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
honey bunches of taint.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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