i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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