It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
