You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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