I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
