kristin has been a bad kristin
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
