So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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