She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
