The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Randomize
