Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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