Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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