guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
