he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize