if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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