So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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