Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
