Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
