why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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