i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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