I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
