if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I will pee on everything he values.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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