We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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