Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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