the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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