You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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