Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
