We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I have post one night stand depression
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
