id be glad to
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
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