apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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