And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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