hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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