I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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