This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
