I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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