I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Can vaginas get frostbite?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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