You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
