speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
