one might say we're banned from that church
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
