so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
