3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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