Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
