I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
