In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
