All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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