ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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