so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
