i think i have two assholes
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
