The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
