Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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