I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize