when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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