ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
