She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
