"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Barsexuality is the new black.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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