thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
