Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
